| *~*Call me beautiful*~* |
[08 Mar 2006|09:56pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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I miss you baby |
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... Call me beautiful...
Hello there, the angel from my nightmare
The shadow in the background of the morgue
The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley
We can live like Jack and Sally if we want
Where you can always find me
We'll have Halloween on Christmas
And in the night we'll wish this never ends
We'll wish this never ends
Where are you and I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This sick strange darkness
Comes creeping on so haunting every time
And as I stared I counted
Webs from all the spiders
Catching things and eating their insides
Like indecision to call you
and hear your voice of treason
Will you come home and stop this pain tonight
Stop this pain tonight
Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head
Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which i find myself constantly walking around in the daytime and falling in at night. I miss you like hell!
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| My fucked up weekend |
[29 Jan 2006|01:23pm] |
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Well, my weekend was pretty boring. I didn't really do anything to much, other than hanging out with Travis for like...two days in a row. Which was basically amazing. I miss him so fucking much, its unbelieveable. BUT! Last night I got to cuddle with him for hours and hours because we were fucked up and yea that was pretty fun. Adam Joe Tony and Travis slept over and after like... everyone fell asleep, Travis and I cuddled...and other stuff. heh. And we fell asleep together and yet it was cute. Someone took pictures of us sleeping together...so I'll post those later, when I have the time. But yea.
Yea, yesterday pretty much made up for my shitty Friday. Although, I do have a feeling that Keirsten is going to be a little pissed off at me. But... Im not sure. Anyways, Friday Keirsten came to school with me which was lots and lots of fun. Well, not really. But at least it wasnt quite as boring as it usually is. We skipped 5th and 6th hour and hung out with Mark for awhile. But he ended up being an absolute ASSHOLE and i hate him a whole bunch now. He basically fucked both me AND Keirsten over, and that pisses me off. I didn't let him take advantage of me, like he wanted to. But... I owe that to Keirsten, because she basically saved my ass. This is a long story. But I'll be done, I dont feel like talking about it im just getting pissed again. Anyways, Keirsten and I were suppose to go hang out with Dylan, Chris, and Yoshi and watch them play at the shelter in Detroit, but I seriously did not feel like seeing Chris at all. Keirsten really wanted to meet Dylan and I backed out on this... BUT she did have to work at the time ...that we were going to go. so... I dont think she could have gone anyways.
Basically, every single guy that I sorta kinda have a relationship with, or was starting to...is pissing me off so god dam much it isnt even funny. I was kinda into mark..but thats purely because he was in to me. But now I seriously hate him and never want to talk to him again. I deffintily like Bobby, but I really do give up now because he gets me so pissed off, wayyy to much. We can be friends...but thats it for now. Chris is pissed at me because I was "with" Bobby... so I basically fucked up my relationship with him. Although he is almost 20, and Im not sure how my mom (or family), would take that. Im just so utterly pissed off about everything. Although, I MUST say... last night with Travis was probably the happiest Ive been in such a long time. I mean, its hard to explain...but i was laying my head on his chest and he was running his fingers through my hair and just..making me feel so happy..and pretty...and everything that is good. AND..i got my back rubbed. hell yes! lol.
Okay, I'll be done writting for now, Im sick of being online. But yea... Im out.
Someone call me Im bored as fuck. 248*895*5348
It would also be nice for you guys to comment on this entry. Thanx! *kisses*
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| Have you ever wanted to slit his god damn throat in the process of being fucked by him?!?! |
[16 Jan 2006|09:40pm] |
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mood |
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 okay |
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music |
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It's all the matters |
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We are in the closet l.o.v.e.r.s, and I (h)(a)(t)(e) it!!!
vArciTyCh3e:
WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
i couldn't want you more right now.
i've never felt so unsure
ALL SIGNS POINT IN YOUR DIRECTION
start it nowaa
lets get this perfection rolling!
vArciTyCh3e: sry i seen this n i was like o wow this is nicole all the way
Wow... basically... April is ridiculous! She thinks she knows me or something lol. Funny Funny!
*248*895*5348* is the new cell....
***Nikki***
<3
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[02 Jan 2006|11:22pm] |
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mood |
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 artistic |
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music |
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Marah - Sooner or Later |
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I got my tongue peirced... ( and a cute picture of Bobby )
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[12 Dec 2005|11:22pm] |
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Some crazy ass shit is bout' to go down...
Because he loves me... he wrote me this...
verse: it hurts me just as much as it does you
more and more, i keep thinking about you
Nikki, Nikki, Nikki, I'll never forget that name
no matter what happens, my love for you will be the same
We have had lots of good times and a few bad
but i couldn't be happier with what we have
All our fights, I wouldn't want to have them with anyone else
Cuz i always felt we would be okay and that you would never leave me by myself
I'm glad you came into my life and I want you to stay
So please take my hand and never go away
Chorus: No matter what happens
Please don't think
That this
is meaningless
i'm trying to paint a picture, but without the truth
It's worthless
And the truth is-I love you
Verse: You make me feel like nobody else could
You did things that no one else would
I'm glad that you got over the shit I put you through
Without my Nikki, I don't know what I would do
I'm sorry about the bad things that i caused between us
And I hope really soon, that there is gonna be an "US"
Chorus: No matter what happens
Please don't think
That this
is meaningless
i'm trying to paint a picture, but without the truth
It's worthless
And the truth is-I love you
Bridge: I want you to promise one thing
That if the worst happens
That you'll come back
And haunt me
I don't want to lose you
Please don't leave me
I beg you, please get better
and come be with me
Chorus: No matter what happens
Please don't think
That this
is meaningless
i'm trying to paint a picture, but without the truth
It's worthless
And the truth is-I love you
Out verse: It doesn't matter what anyone says
Don't let them get you down
Remember that I'll Always be with you
And No one will tear us down
I love you Nikki
**Brian Ray Rachal
I feel sorta bad for not feeling the same...
*mwah* <3 Nikki
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[04 Dec 2005|08:53pm] |
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I WANT MY TONGUE PIERCED!
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[29 Nov 2005|10:20pm] |
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New Cell:
248*895*5348
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[28 Nov 2005|10:02pm] |
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1. smoked a cigarette - yes
2. smoked a cigar - no
3. made out with a member of the same sex - yes
4. crashed a friend's car - no
5. stolen a car - no
6. been in love - yes
7. been dumped - yes
8. done a shot? - yes
9. been fired - no
10. been in a fist fight – yes
11. snuck out of your house – yes
12. had feelings for someone who didn't have them back - of course
13. been arrested - no
14. made out with a stranger- yes
15. gone on a blind date – yes
16. lied to a friend - yes
17. had a crush on a teacher - no, ive thought some were hot though
18. skipped school- yes
19. slept with a co-worker - no
20. seen someone die - no
21. been on a plane - yes
22. thrown up in a bar - yes
23. taken painkillers - yes
24. miss someone right now - yes
25. laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by - yes
26. made a snow angel - yes
27. played dress up - yes
28. cheated while playing a game - yes
29. been lonely - yes
30. fallen asleep at work/school – yes
31. used a fake id - no
32. felt an earthquake - yes
33. touched a snake - yes
34. ran a red light - yes
35. been suspended from school - no
36. had detention - yes
37. been in a car accident - yes
38. hated the way you look - yes
39. witnessed a crime - yes
40. pole danced - yes
41. been lost - yes
42. been to the opposite side of the country - no
43. felt like dying - yes
44. cried yourself to sleep - yes
45. played cops and robbers - yes
46. karaoke - yes
47. done something you told yourself you wouldn't - yes
48. laughed till some kind of beverage came out of your nose - yes
49. caught a snowflake on your tongue - yes
50. kissed in the rain - no
51. sing in the shower - yes
52. made love in a park - no
53. had a dream that you married someone - yes
54. glued your hand to something - no
55. got your tongue stuck to a flag pole - no
56. worn the opposite sex's clothes - yes
57. been a cheerleader - yes
58. sat on a roof top - yes
59. didn't take a shower for a week - no
60. ever too scared to watch scary movies alone - yes
61. played chicken – yes
62. been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on - yes
63. been told you're hot by a complete stranger - yep :)
64. broken a bone - yes
65. been easily amused - yes
66. laugh so hard you cry - yes
67. mooned/flashed someone - yes
68. cheated on a test - yes
69. forgotten someone's name - yes
70. slept naked - yes
71. gone skinny dipping in a pool - yes
72. been kicked out of your house - yes
73. blacked out from drinking - no
74. played a prank on someone - yea
75. played strip poker - umm just messin around...i dont know how to play poker
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[19 Nov 2005|08:05pm] |
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First of all... I LOVE KEIRSTEN SOOO SOOO MUCH!!! (My beautiful princess...drowning in a sea of distress)
Uhh.. i guess this is one of those tag games. And I got tagged.
Five songs that I am currently digging, in no particular order:
1. That song by MSI that Keirsten has as a ring tone
2. Lapdance by N.E.R.D
3. Rammstein - pretty much anything
4. That song by 36 Mafia that Bobby always plays in my car...
5. Wild World by Cat Stevens
i tag:
1. Kimmy
2. Timmy
3. Sarah Ev.
4. Anna
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[12 Nov 2005|07:19pm] |
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| My lifes a living hell, but I'm too afraid to tell |
[08 Nov 2005|10:16pm] |
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mood |
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 tired |
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music |
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WIld World - Cat Stevens |
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UPCOMMING PLANS:
I'm going to be so fucking busy the rest of this week. Actually... I'm going to be busy for the next few months.
* I work Monday-Thursday 2:30-7:00 and the occasional Friday or Saturday. This Thursday we dont have school and so, I will be working from 6am-7pm. Wonderful! Just splendid! I'm also housesitting for one of my mom's friends for a week sometime soon.
* This Friday I think...Bobby and I have a date, but I'm not sure. Well, I'm sure that we have a date...just...I dont exactly know what were doing or where were going. OH! I have to stay after for Math help too.
* Saturday I have do to community service from 9:00am-noon, and then Keirsten and I are going to the mall until around 4ish because she has to work at 6.
****NEWS FLASH: MY SATURDAY NIGHT IS OPEN! CALL ME! (248-363-8127)****
......maybe I'll give my Britt Bee a call for Sat......
* Sunday... Bobby wants to hang out again... but I don't know about that because I'm not sure about how much homework I'll have over the weekend. We'll see.
* Monday!!! TACO BELL PARTY!!! Ashley, Kels, and I are going to Taco Bell and ordering...one of everything! I love it! lol... and... there also taking me to get my hair cut and made pretty...that will be interesting.
* I don't think i have much more planned. Except me, Mike, Chris, Sam, Erin, John, Mike S., and a couple other people are going glow in the dark putt putting..at the fountain walk...except i dont know when. But it WILL happen.
* I need to start my Christmas shopping, because I have over 20 people that I need to buy presents for and I suck at picking out presents. It takes me a LOOOOONG time to find "the perfect present" for all my family and stuffs. *
UPDATES:
- Bobby and I are obviously talking again...thanks to Nicole Perry actually....
- I still love Jorge for some ridiculous reason even though he pretty much hates me and thinks im "an immature phsyco bitch." I think that maybe I still love the "old" him. The him that I used to have all to myself. The him that used to treat me like a princess and love and need me. It's a little depressing, but thats okie. I was reading one of our 1st yahoo messenger conversations and he was teaching me how to set my messenger so that I could save all my convos and he said something like... "Its fun to look back on old conversations, but sometimes its a pretty sad." I started looking at all of our conversations and of course I started crying my eyes out. I hate that we were SOOOO close... and now so far.
- Brian and I got in a fight because he thinks that if a guy has sex with a pregnant women his dick will hit the babies head and give it brain damage... yeaaaa ooookay! Can you blame me for arguing with him about that one? Bobby was pretty pissed that Brian, "physically assulted" me. oh well. Thou shall not beat one another up.
- I miss Grant sooo much. He never answers me calls or anything though so I guess hes totally over me and focused on his new girlfriend. Which is good in a way I suppose. At least he has someone to love...right? It's just kind of sad because he was such a good friend to me and everything. He DEFF! helped me with my break up with Jorge. I give him so much respect and credit for my sanity.
- I really like Mike. Hes admirable and Im going to be devastated when he leaves me.
- I talked to Tim last night! It was exciting. He told me jokes for an hour to make me feel better. It pretty much worked too. I think he likes this lil girly now..which is cute and I'm happy for him.
- Keirsten and I are going out Saturday! WOO HOO! Ba da da da daaaa Im loving it!
- School is still stressing me out...
- Talked to Belle earlier tonight, I miss her so much. We haven't talked in so long. We barely get to see/talk to each other anymore..and when we do... its so awkward.
- Been smoking.
I'M DONE!
<3 Nikki
I love you _____ ____ ____!!
Kevin: You need to realize that you can't base a relationship upon sex. I'm not calling you a whore or anything but if he only wants to be with you for sex, than obviously your dealing with a massivly fucked relationship before its even started. If you want my opinion, and I know you want it, I think he really likes you. I think your just a little bit paranoid from your last relationship. You and Jorge lasted a really long time considering the circumstances and maybe your bitter about this whole thing. If your not over your ex, don't jump into this new thing. You are a gorgeous, little miss 3.8, hawaiian/mexican/gypsy, shaving creamily funny girl!!!!!!!! Who wouldn't want to be with you?! lol. I sure as hell would! If it weren't for my CareBear that is... (Ter bear, Car bear "meant for each other") Anyways, I love you Nikki. Just don't give up on this okay? You got this! SOLID!
*****Holy Goodness Gracious! I love that kid so much!*****
...Solid
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| I am outrageous and insane, I'm fueled by gasoline, alcohol and nicotine! |
[03 Nov 2005|11:26pm] |
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mood |
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 jubilant |
] |
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music |
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Brand New - I believe you but my tommy gun dont |
] |
I haven't updated in a while so I might as well do so...
(+) I've been seeing A LOT of Tyler and Jakki... which is wonderful...
(+-) Working almost every day! I need the money...but it sucks.
(-) I haven't talked to Bobby in awhile which kind of sucks because I really thought our relationship could have gone somewhere. If it weren't for my slutty mistakes that is.....
(+) I'm going to VA with David, Sara, Kelsey, Matt, Tila, Mike, Megan, and possibly Jessica. I LOVE IT! lmfao! amazing...
(+) I just recently talked to Jorge... I've actually missed him quite a bit. Even though he really is an ass to me... I still enjoy talking with him. He's a really good person, even if you disagree, my dear.
(-) I miss Bryanna Nichole Licciardi like no other!!!
(-) My doll face, Keirsten and I have not seen each other in about a million years and its honestly pathetic because well... i have a car now... and STILL havent seen her. The concert that we were going to go to at CC didnt work out and bla bla. That was my fault... (fucking bongs!) and im sorry baby!
(+) I HAVE A 3.667 gpa!!!!!!! 4 A's, a B+, and a B! I know I promised everyone I'd get a 4.0...but hey... at least im at a good start. Excellente! muy bien!
(-) Tony got a 1.3
(-) Brian and I got in yet another fight last night and he pretty much took off while we were in the middle of a heated conversation. whatever...his problem. Im trying to resolve our friendship and work things out and its NOT WORKING! I guess..it can just get better from here.
(+) Warren has a new girlfriend... I guess that is good.
(+) Miss Ashley Farr and I are "closer" and thats pretty awesome because I havent really talked to her in a couple years at least. And..we used to be really good friends so... this is good. lol.
(-) Keep this on the DL, but I dont think my Britt Bee and Char Char are doing so great:(
(-) Just this week I was told I was immature, ugly, stupid, insecure, selfish, and a brat.
(+) This week I was also told that I am very mature, drop dead gorgeous, intelligent, a wonderful student, improving in my writting, funny, and loveable. I chose to belive these comments, instead of the negative ones. :D
(+) PPI is raising so much money from the can food drive. I think were over 500 dollars now, and the cans are starting to come in as well. ehh maybe a couple hundred of those. It feels really good to be active in the community. ( I know how ridiculous and studious i sounded just then lol)
(-) I hate La Plante
(+) I love Moore, Laing, Monteith, Boggs, and Ritter.
(+) I AM NOT smoking this weekend! YAY! GOOOO ME!!!!
(-) I have no lover...besides Keirsten
(-) NO FUCKING CELL PHONE STILL!!! I suck at paying bills....:(
(-) One of my best friends is falling behind and I feel as if im loosing her friendship. Not my fault..or hers. But im overcomming stupidity and immaturity and shes ...well... not. Hopefully things will work out of the best.
*** All in all, things balance out I suppose. Im pretty stable. SOLID! ***
<3 Nikki
*My tongue's the only muscle on my body
that works harder than my heart.*
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| Pics |
[15 Oct 2005|03:26pm] |
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~FOR ASHLEY~
( Lovely )
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[22 Sep 2005|10:06pm] |
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I like the feeling of tears running down my cheeks
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| I'm 16 |
[08 Sep 2005|10:11pm] |
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mood |
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 jealous |
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music |
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Grand theft autum - fall out boy |
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My cell is working again!!! yay! 248*255*2511
For once in my life I am enjoying school and can actually get through the day without wanting to shoot everyone!!! yay!
I'm officially 16!
<3 Nikki
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| Party |
[01 Sep 2005|05:19pm] |
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Okay so... My dad is forcing me to have a birthday party... so...
My sweet 16 party will be from 12- 8 ish... this Sunday the 4th! (but you can come or go anytime you want between then) At my dad's house in Highland. Call me for directions (248-255-2511 or 248-363-8127) We have a pool (but you don't have to swim) There will be music, food, volleyball, cards...whatever else you wanna do lol. You don't have to RSVP...but you can if you want.
And lastly... ANYONE CAN COME and EVERYONE IS INVITED!!!
So comment or call if ya wanna be there.
<3 Nikki
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[01 Sep 2005|07:16am] |
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mood |
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 pissed off |
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music |
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gwen - cool |
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Guess whats really fucking cool?!?
MY GOD DAM CELL PHONE GOT SHUT OFF!!!
AHHH IM GUNNA DIE!!!
***So heres the deal... I can still see who called but I cant check messages or call anyone. So..its kinda like a pager I guess... I can still DC***
Nikki
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| Hands down... your the best of me |
[30 Aug 2005|06:20pm] |
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mood |
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aggravated |
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music |
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The beautiful people - Manson |
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( This is amazing... )
Okie dokie... I am going to attempt to write a real entry since lately I've just been doing weird and silly stuff.
For the past 2 weeks or so I've been working like crazy and I think I just might have enough money to buy a car. I really want to get my lisence and everything. I really think I need to spend a weekend with Jorge because... We just need to spend time together...and thats the end of that lol. But school starts super soon and I'm excited...but not...at the same time. As for right now, I'm ready to go back but I know that about a week into it I'll be ready for summer break again. I'm dreading the cold weather more than I am..actually going to class. I do have some pretty dam tough classes this year but I think I'll get through it okay. The teacher I have for my hardest class is amazing so it shouldn't be too bad. I'm going to try so hard for a 4.0 this year. I say that every year before school starts... but hey... I have to set my goals high.
I'm so sick of being a teenager and I'm totally ready to move out and start a whole new life. I know basically every aspect of it. I want to major in phsycology and minor in writing... and my long term goal is to open my own firm. My role model is my theripist Kerri and she's actually been helping me to acheive this dream of mine. Going into therapy isnt the MOST highest paying job...but I can deff. get by and support myself. I'd love to be a house wife like my mom, but that would mean my husband/boyfriend would have to bring in a ton of money and I'd eventually get bored as shit. I refuse to have constant babysitters or take my kids to day care services... thats like.... paying someone else to raise my kid. Family members can babysit... or I can find the time for my own kids. See... the biggest problem in this whole thing is that I dont exactly have my husband picked out yet. Or he hasnt picked me out anyways. I know i want to be in therpy, I know I want a nice house, i know i dont want to live in michigan, i just dont know who im going to marry. But whatever Im only 16..*almost* so... I have plenty of time, or at least thats the word on the street. Regardless... once I graduate highschool and move out... I will be a lot more happy than i am now... and thats exactly what I want.
I talked to Jorge last night and it felt so good. I've talked to him maybe...4 times at most since we've broken up and everyone of those times was either uncomfortable or..awkward. This was actually our first conversation that went fairly well. I'm so glad that theres no tention between us now. I was a little nervous a couple times... but he knew lol and made it better. but regardless... we're all good now. I miss his little self...
I talked to Bobby... I think it was... 2 nights ago. Now our conversation was extreamly weird and he basically told me that he's liked me ever since I went to Lakeland. I was like...wtf lol. He flirted with Keirsten more than he did me. But...it was sweet of him anyways and it made me feel special. He told me I was beautiful...and... yea.
Brittney called me the other day to talk about our party and I basically got pissy and told her to fuck off. I really dont want to have one anymore. I don't know why I dont, I just dont. I may have like... 5 people over at most. But thats about it.
Grant and I were fighting a little a few days back but I think were good now. I guess I'm just a reallllly jealous person. I can't stand when he gets "crushes" or tells me about how hot some girl is. I would just rather not hear about it. Keep it to yourself babe. But like I said... we're all good now and I don't think we have much to worry about now.
............. Alrighty, I think I'm done now. Oh my goodness! I may be getting a yellow VW bug! woo hoo! It's a stick though, so Jorge should be happy lol.
<3 Nikki
*~* You can have the best of me *~*
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preciouspenguin's journal
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